Surviving the Season: A No-BS Guide to Holiday Wellness

Welcome to the Most Wonderful (and Exhausting) Time of the Year! Whether you celebrate everything, nothing, or are just here for the sales and time off work, we see you. This time of year is like emotional whiplash wrapped in tinsel—simultaneously the "most wonderful time" and the season where therapy appointments mysteriously fill up faster than parking spots at the mall. So let's talk about how to get through it without losing your mind!

The Holiday Boundary Buffet:

Take What You Want, Leave the Rest

Think of the holidays like a potluck where everyone brought a dish you didn't ask for. Some of it looks great. Some of it makes you wonder if your aunt is trying to poison the family. You don't have to eat everything.

Here's what setting boundaries sounds like in the wild:

• "I'd love to see you, but I can only stay for an hour."

• "We're keeping things low-key this year."

• "I'm not doing gifts this year, just presence." (See what I did there?)

• "Can't make it I hope you have a great time!"

Think of your boundaries like airline oxygen masks—you have to secure your own before helping others. Except in this case, you're preventing emotional suffocation instead of actual suffocation. (Both valid concerns.)

Money: The Ghost of Holidays

Present, Past, and Future Debt

Let's address the expensive elephant in the room wearing a Santa hat: the holidays can financially wreck you faster than you can say "6 months 0% APR financing!"

The Gift-Giving Industrial Complex

Somewhere along the way, we collectively decided that love = stuff…and the more you love someone, the more expensive the stuff. This is, respectfully, nonsense! Here's the thing: If someone values your love for them based on what you spend, they're confusing their Amazon cart with your heart.

Think of it this way: Your bank account is like your mental health—if you drain it completely, the recovery period is long and painful.

Food, Bodies, & the

Annual Judgment Parade

Let's address the obvious: somehow the holidays have turned your relatives into food critics who think everyone's plate (or body) is up for public review.

Here's what nobody talks about: The holidays aren't just mixed up with diet culture—they're absolutely drowning in it.

The narrative we're sold:

• October-December: Indulge! Treat yourself! (But also feel guilty about it.)

• January 1st: REPENT. Cleanse. Detox. Punish yourself for being human.

  
  

It's a manufactured cycle designed to make you feel bad about being human during a food-centered season, then sell you the "solution" in January. The diet industry is worth $72 billion. This isn't about your health—it's about profit!

The Scripts We Need to Retire

• "I have to earn this meal." 

  • No, you don't. You earned it by being alive.

• "I'm being SO bad eating this." 

  • Food isn't moral. You're not bad. You're eating.

• "I'll work this off tomorrow." 

  • Exercise is not punishment for eating. Eating is not a debt you need to repay.

Notice the pattern? We've been taught to apologize for having bodies that need food. That's not wellness—that's internalized diet culture.

Your New Holiday Food Philosophy

What if you just... ate food? Ate when hungry, chose foods you enjoyed, and moved on with your life. Liberating right? Your body is pretty smart. It's kept you alive this long. Maybe trust it more than you trust an industry that profits from your insecurity.

Showing Up for Others (Not Just Yourself)

Okay, we've talked a lot about protecting your own peace. But what about being there for the people who need you? Because wellness isn't just self-preservation—it's also connection.

The Paradox of Holiday Togetherness

Everyone's talking about self-care and boundaries (yours truly included), but here's the tension: other people need you too. And sometimes being a good human means showing up even when it's inconvenient.

How to Actually Show Up:

1. Specific Invitations Beat "Let me know if you need anything"

Instead of: "Call me if you need anything!" Try: "I'm going to Target on Tuesday at 2pm. Want to come?" or "I made too much soup. Can I drop some off Thursday?" People who are struggling won't ask for help. Make the invitation so specific they just have to say yes or no.

2. Show Up Without Making It About You

This is not the time for:

• "I know exactly how you feel because..."

• Making their pain about your discomfort

• Toxic positivity ("Everything happens for a reason!")

• Comparing struggles

  
  

3. Check on Your "Strong" Friends

The ones who always have it together? They're probably drowning quietly. The helpers need help too, but they're terrible at asking for it. Text them: "I know you're always there for everyone else. How are you actually doing?"

4. Normalize Struggle

If someone admits they're having a hard time, don't minimize it. Match their honesty:

• "Yeah, the holidays can be really rough."

• "That sounds incredibly hard."

• "You're not alone in that."

Your honesty gives them permission to be human.

5. Include People Intentionally

"We're doing a low-key thing—no pressure, come if you want" can feel really good to someone who's been sitting home alone. But also respect boundaries: Some people WANT to be alone. Inclusion doesn't mean forced participation.

Acts of Service That Don't Deplete You:

• Text someone: "Thinking of you today."

• Drop off food, leave it on the porch (no social energy required)

• Send a card to someone who might not get any

• Tip generously to service workers

• Offer specific help: "I can watch your kids Saturday 2-5pm."

• Listen without trying to fix

• Validate someone's struggle without making it a competition

A Note to the Helpers, Fixers, and People-Pleasers:

You know who you are. You're reading this thinking "Yes! I should do more for others!" No! You need to hear this: Your worth is not determined by how much you do for other people. You're allowed to receive care. You're allowed to be the one who needs support. Showing up for others doesn't mean erasing yourself. It means showing up as a whole person—needs and all.

The holidays ask a lot of us—financial sacrifice, emotional labor, perfect appearances, and endless availability for others. Over my years in practice, I've watched too many people drain themselves trying to meet impossible standards. This newsletter is my attempt to give you permission: to say no, to protect your resources, to exist without apology, and to show up for others without erasing yourself. Balance is messy and imperfect, but it's worth fighting for. Adams Mental Health is here throughout the season because your mind matters—especially now. Thank you for trusting us to walk alongside you.

With Support,

Mya L. Adams M.Ed., LPC, C-DBT

Adams Mental Health

Where your mind matters!